[One drabble]

[gwynedd]

Title: Drabbles of Conquest
Rating: PG
Pairing/Characters: Zelos and Lloyd from ToS. Not really a pairing
Warnings: Snark, and lack of text (the whole thing's dialog).
Disclaimer: I don't own ToS. *angst*
A/N: I always like writing text-less fics. Dialog is so very fun.



"..."

"Lloyd."

"..."

"What the hell're you staring at?"

"...huh?"

"Yeah, I'm up here, bud."

"I know that"

"Then what is it about my amazingly rock-hard abs that interests you so much? Oh, wait, duh."

"No."

"Huh?"

"That’s just it - your abs aren't rock-hard or amazing. I think you've got...PUDGE! DUN DUN DUN!"

"...A: The hell was that?!"

"I don't know...it just sounded cool."

"A1: Nothing you say ever sounds cool."

"Hey!"

"B: I do NOT have pudge. That's impossible in any world. I am Zelos Wilder; Epitome of Masculine Sexiness. Masculine Sexiness doesn't have 'pudge'"

"But you do!"

"Do not."

"Do too."

"Do not."

"Do too! It's right there!"

"Gah! No touchie!"

"See? It squishes!"

"That's just loose skin, moron. If anything, it's proof that I'm losing weight."

"That isn't loose skin."

"Is too."

"Is no- don't start that again!"

"Start what?"

"Zelos, that can't be loose skin. Loose skin-"

"Ah! I said, don't poke me!"

"-loose skin doesn't jiggle."

"..."

"See? I'm right."

"...lies."

"Wha?"

"You're just making it all up because you're jealous of the fact that I'm faster, stronger, sexier, and overall more amazing-er than you. I'm not surprised, really, but you're sinking pretty low, bud."

"I-wha-guh...amazing-er's not a word!"

"How would you know, you ignorant little hick?"

"'Cause I'm not a stupid, pompus Chosen!"

"Duh, you're just stupid."

"Argh!!"

"Hey! Not the face!"