[One Fic - Collab]

[gwynedd]

Title: Post It
Rating: PG, maybe PG-13
Characters/Pairing: EdgeworthxPhoenix
Warnings: ....uhm, my love affair with formatting? Mostly just two lawyers being gay and snarky and cute.
A/N: Ha ha, I totally wrote this like, a month ago. This is a collab I did with the amazing themodestotter ! She's amazing - go love up on her~


[a letter, tucked behind the smaller pillows on Miles' couch.]

Miles;
    I've got pictures to prove my last point - you are, actually, rather adorable on occasion. It took place on this couch, even! You should expect blackmail letters within the week.
        -Phoenix

[This time, a post-it stuck to Phoenix's computer monitor in his office.]

    You're bluffing. You don't warn people before they're blackmailed.
        [He doesn't bother to sign, Maya may have gotten there first, and that would've been messy]

[tucked into Miles' cravat]

    I might be bluffing, but you're frilly. And adorable.
        [there's a scrawl at the bottom that might say "<3 Nick".]

[Left in Nick's sock drawer]

    At least I can put on a tie without someone else's assistance.
        Miles Edgeworth
            P.S. What is "less than three" supposed to mean?

[shoved messily inside Miles' triple-locked briefcase]

    You are an evil man, Miles Edgeworth. You said you'd never bring that up again without good reason. I can feel you scowling from here, do stop, you'll get wrinkles doing that and then you won't be adorable anymore LIKE YOU ARE IN THE PICTURES.
        -Nick
            P.S. it is not "less that three". It's a heart using computery keys. Don't you have an adorable assistant to teach you these things?

[In the vest pocket of Nick's suit]

    I formally refuse to submit anymore thought on the matter until I have seen said photographs. Also, I do not need a pack of adolescent girls to help me do my job.
        Miles

[tucked up Mile's sleeve, found residing around his elbow.]

    So then after you've seen the photographs, you'll submit like usual? I'll be sure to show them to you then, if/when I get them back from Ema.
    Yes, you do. Adolescent girls make the world a better place.
        Not a perv;
        Nick

[Under Phoenix's pillow]

    Depending on the severity of the evidence, I will bring up proper legal action. Submission has never been an option. You will not be lending any photographs to Chief Lana's sister.
    And you are most definitely the worst kind of man. Do not expect me to be over tonight as we had planned.
        [No signature]

[a large piece of construction paper taped to the (outside) of the door leading to Miles' office]

    I'm sorry Miles don't disown me please.

[knowing this first plea would be invariably ripped down and left woefully unread, the following was found sitting placidly on Miles' desk]

    I'm not that kind of bad man and you know it. I mean, you, of all people, really really should. Know it, that is. That I'm not that kind of bad man. I am sorry. Please come over? I bought red velvet cake!
        -Phoenix Wright;
        Attorney-at-Law; thus he knows right and wrong, thank you very much.
            P.S. I didn't lend the pictures to her, you know. She stole them.

[This time, gently tucked under his door]

Wright;
    You should be glad to know that I am generally the first one to the office and also that the custodial staff is easily bribed. I understand that you aren't a bad man, only a stupid one. Please quit repeating yourself. If your assistant hasn't demolished that cake already, I would be glad to have some. I will even bring a dessert wine.
    Also, the photos were returned to me by the chief. I don't understand what is so "adorable" about them.
        Edgeworth

[paper-airplane'd at Miles in the break room, after court]

    You make me rather stupid sometimes. It's a little bit distressing, but I think I'll keep you around. Maya has gotten into the cake a bit (half of it) already, but I'm sure the booze'll make up for what we're lacking in food.
    You were sleeping! On the couch! I mean, you're adorable when sleeping naked in my bed normally, but the couch is just so...spontaneous (Ema said something about couch-hair. I chose not to press the witness further).
        -Nick

[Text messaged to his cellphone]

    I was tired. I fell asleep. This is a common human behavior. Will tonight be acceptable?
        Miles
            P.S. Nice ringtone

[stuck conspicuously between tomes on Miles' shelf]

    You are anything but "common" or "human". I got that text just after I dramatically shouted "Objection!". I didn't know you could text, let alone time it to go off at the second most inappropriate moment possible. You will probably never cease to surprise me and I'm not sure if I should be scared.
        -Nick, who will never ever die from boredom.
            P.S. Tonight is always fine. No need to sound so formal.

[In his briefcase, which isn't even single-locked]

    You should have deduced, from hearing your ringtone, that I was close enough to know. You've gotten rusty. Also, keeping you in a perpetual state of fear is close to effortless. And that was as close to informal as I can allow myself to be, thank you very much. I'll be at your apartment at nine.
        Miles

[Found the next day in his boxers]

    Well, since a certain someone didn't give me a chance to open my mouth last night (other than to shove his tongue in it hurr hurr), I'll make sure you get my reply today. Not that I'm complaining all that much.     Please don't think that.
    I'm not rusty; I've been rather oxygen-free lately, actually. I just felt like reiterating my point - which is, of course, that your sense of timing frightens me quite often.
    I'm mostly teasing. Formal is perfectly alright and kinda kinky, really. You should keep that cravat on all the time.
        -Nick
            P.S. I hope you find this note while you're in court. <3

[Left on his home message machine]

    You talk too much to begin with. I've found it's the most effective way to shut you up. I can tell a complaint from a compliment; besides, you were saying "yes" enough last night for me to know the difference, along with other various things that I'd rather not repeat on something you can't burn.
    I don't plan on getting rid of the cravat anytime soon. You seem to like it quite a lot. Also; too bad. It's almost impossible not to notice something like this in your undergarments.

[Stuck behind Miles' ear.]

    I wasn't the only one talking or rather, screaming last night, and you know it. Takes two to tango, Edgeworth. Someday, I swear, I will turn your voice into my ringtone (once I figure out how to get rid of this stupid Steel Samurai one oh god it's infected my phone) And yes, I like the cravat, but you'll never get me to confess it in a court of law.
    I hope it made you randy, digging around for that thing.
        Ha ha, I win;
        -Nick

[Tossed through his office window, tied to a rock; Edgeworth has a good arm]

    I'd rather you not do that. Then everyone would get to hear my voice when it's only meant for you. And the Steel Samurai is perfectly fine. That sounds like a bet, Wright. A dangerous one.
        Miles
            P.S. You're a sick man.

[Taped to his back, folded in thirds and sealed with wax, no one knows how Wright gets this stuff]

    You're so sweet when you're jealous (and throwing rocks through my window oh jesus don't you remember how little I make?).
    I'd so rather hear you over the Steel Samurai, it's not funny. And I can take anything you can give me, Edgeworth. Bring it on.
        [Signed in excessive calligraphy] Phoenix
            P.S. I'll take that as a yes, then.

[Left on taped to his mirror to find in the morning]

    I hope that taught you a lesson about being vague. "I can take anything you can give me," honestly, that was a disaster waiting to happen to you. Forgive me if you have trouble sitting for awhile.
        Miles Edgeworth

[given to him by a very confused-looking Gumshoe. "He told me to duct-tape this to your face, pal, then limped away. Wright's an odd one, isn't he?"]

    I don't have enough time to snark at you. Just know that I've learned my lesson (mostly), but that using my tie was foul play. I almost killed myself trying to put that thing on this morning, thanks for untying it, I think it tried to choke me. You're the sick one now, Mr. Edgeworth. Misunderstanding words is totally my job.
    And if last night hadn't been so, well, amazing, I'd never forgive you.
        Git.
        -Nick

[This one somehow got into Maya's sleeve, although she refuses any collaboration with Miles]

    I'd prefer you not involve my co-workers in our game. Especially ones that might get ideas. Still, I need to teach you how to tie that damn thing yourself. You don't have to use it as an excuse to get me to come over.     I'll make dinner tonight. And, give you a back massage, if you're good, as an apology for ruining your posture.
        Miles

[Sitting, inanely, in his mailbox]

    Gumshoe just thinks I'm still miffed about the whole rock-throwing-thing. I think. But I'm not still miffed, don't worry (You won't). My inability to tie my tie is one of my many lovable quirks. It is lovable, right?
    And by "back massage" I assume you mean more than a back massage, heh. My posture sucks naturally. You don't have to use it as an excuse to come over.
        Still sore, but doesn't mind so much;
        Nick

[Just handed to him, face to face]

    Only a back massage. I'm not some kind of machine, Wright.
        [Short, and followed by a good snogging session]

[sharpied quickly (and sloppily) on Miles' arm while trying to get dressed after said session]

    Liar.

///

This was ridiculously fun. I'd always wanted to do something like this, but only now got to do it, thanks to the fabulous <lj user="themodestotter"> - she writes all of Edgy's stuffs (I'm Phoenix, obviously).

Go write kink meme-fic, woman! D: *beats self about head*

C&C IS LOVE. As always.